As an active member of the Mansfield Massachusetts Litter Busters, I have adopted a stretch of road near my home and work to keep it litter free. As I artfully manipulated my EZ Reacher Trash Grabber on a recent litter cleanup tour, I began to notice certain trends emerging from the roadside litter. I thought to myself that if space aliens one day landed and immediately signed up to become Litter Busters, here’s what they might assume about Earthlings and our nasty habits:
- We like to drink and drive. How else to explain the empty beer cans and scary number of empty miniature “nip” bottles scattered along the road?
- Many of us still think it’s cool to smoke cigarettes. Not only do those filthy smokers flick their still-burning butts out the window with impunity, they also toss out their empty cigarette packs. They even toss the cellophane wrappers from each fresh pack of cancer sticks.
- We eat a lot of crap. Whether it’s from McDonald’s, Burger King, Wendy’s or Dunkin’ Donuts, fast food trash is everywhere. Thankfully, much of it is biodegradable, except for those darn Styrofoam coffee cups. Which leads to…
- We are hyper-caffeinated. In my little survey, coffee cups were second only to alcoholic beverage containers. Apparently, if we’re not getting drunk or smoking cigarettes, we’re in imminent danger of falling asleep at the wheel.
- We’re unlucky. Judging by the number of losing lottery “scratch” tickets, we’ve got a lot of frustrated gamblers who like to toss evidence of their losing ways out the car window.
I’m sorry to say that our alien friends won’t be too impressed with Earthlings. But maybe we can teach those creatures who still litter to clean up their acts. If we’re successful, there may be hope for planet Earth and the entire universe.
What do you think? What have you noticed about the litter in your area and the people who litter?
